If you ask any man off the street what his love language is, chances are that he will tell you it’s physical touch. That may be true and it may not be—as Dr. Gary Chapman explains in The Five Love Languages, many men interpret their desire for sex to be an indication of physical touch as their love language. But while sex drive doesn’t necessarily equate to a physical touch love language, many men do find that they feel most loved when they receive physical touch from their partner. I can tell you, this is certainly true for me.
In Dr. Chapman’s book, he explains that there are five ways in which a person best feels or receives love: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, and acts of service. Getting to know how your partner receives love is the first step in learning how to properly express to him the love that you feel. There’s nothing worse than loving gestures going unappreciated or feeling like your partner doesn’t really care.
As a guy, it’s tempting to immediately think of sex when you think of physical touch. But what I discovered as I learned about the love languages is that there is a lot more to physical touch than just sex. What’s more, sex alone is not going to fill up your physical touch guy’s “love tank” (as Dr. Chapman calls it). A physical touch guy needs to be shown love in nonsexual ways, too.
So putting that sexy stuff aside, here are five tips for making your physical touch guy feel loved.
01. Initiate touch.
It’s no fun to constantly tell your partner how you want to be loved; sometimes you wish they just knew. Of course it’s helpful for you to have a conversation with your guy about love languages, so you both know how best to express love. But after that, it’s important to initiate physical touch so that he doesn’t always have to ask.
This can be hard for some women, especially if you are not a touchy-feely sort of person yourself. But as Dr. Chapman reminds us, every one of the five love languages can be learned. And, like everything, practice makes perfect.
The truth is, when someone whose love language is physical touch feels that they are constantly the ones to initiate, they can begin to feel as if they are burdening their partner—especially if she seems unwilling to show love in this way.
Make an effort to touch your guy frequently. You don’t have to be hanging on him constantly, but an occasional light brush of the arm or a shoulder squeeze can go a long way.